some days i’m broken
and i don’t want him to see that
because he might run away
after seeing my fragile heart

chaiivee:

every year a thread more unwound
on a spool of thread of unknown length
stitched into a masterpiece i do not know how large
patterned into fabric that i still don’t understand;
i just pray the tailer treat me gently
careful not to split me–
for Lord knows i am frayed
in more than one place.

You don’t write to me

or give me the slightest chance

but I thought I saw a trust in you…

You told me a few of your secrets,

for the briefest of moments

though I only saw them by page…

I see all your regrets

when you’re confused or upset

you use me when you need me,

or else you leave me in the unzipped case



I’ve heard you say you wish I could do more

erase some memories, 

or some decisions you might’ve made

I desperately wish I could



I long to do more than allow you a second chance 

to spell that word you keep forgetting

“i before e,” I’ll whisper



I’ll keep reminding you as long as you need, 

until I’m nothing more than pink, rubber shavings

that you blow off your desk

The kettle’s whistle brings me back to reality. It whispers the lies that you once inched into the clasp of my hand. Back when your translucent smile had fooled me. While pouring steam into an open cup, I remembered that you had left long ago, taking those half-hearted sympathies with you and leaving me in the garden of broken glass.
   
All containers have failed me at this point. Exquisite china never deemed appropriate, for it only breathes your breath. Delicate teacups only remind me of your touch, your scent, your smile.  I settled for one of the mugs from the back of the cupboard to drink my sunlight. I can’t have rosebuds. They taste too much like the days we’d spent in amsterdam and the nights we’d lost in Jupiter. Maybe a packet or two or three of basil leaves, no, far too bitter for my taste. I decide on chamomile dreams so I can think of spoonfuls of honey and the bright blue sky.
 

Now I sit alone on the garden’s soil as spring kisses my cheeks. I leave the flame a burnin’ and the kettle a whislin’, while trying to forget that these tea leaves aren’t as strong without your love and water will evaporate into thin air.

An offer to smile yet again, 

Oh, it’s been too long

An offer to dream a tale so simple,

I’d notice nothing to be gone
It’d make sense to say no
To hold on to this intricate mind,

But what if this, the one I bear,
Should be left behind?
Selling the soul for eternal rest

Could be an awful price to pay,

But nature’s pains and the constant whispers

Might already have their say

your touch, your hands, your open smile
please, dear god, let this stay a while
i can’t describe to you this fantastic bliss
i’m yours, and we share a kiss

stupid love poems, i know i can’t write
but in attempt, maybe you’ll hear:

the sound of my heart beating fast,
my stomach flying,
my hands shaking,
my laugh escaping

you said “i love you” in the park under the shade
and i did too
because there’s never been one like you

i miss you, i’m aching, though it’s only been minutes
my craving continues

i love you i love you i love you
i scream inside
our sweet existence

a kiss
nothing but a touch of lips and
fear through my spine

but wait

a kiss
oh, does that go there? what am i doing?
a little uncertainty

and then

a kiss
you pull away, no, please give me more
crave settles in

today was a day we’d have spent at the park
the sun slipped in between trees and you could feel the heat
feel the breeze
you’re so far now